Choosing Experiences over Things

Flip on the television and you’ll see it all over the media ~ huge lavish vacations, expensive jewelry, fancy cars, and stuff. Lots and lots of stuff.  We try to limit the screen time here, and as good as we seem to be, kids are still prone to see stuff everywhere they go – even when they go to their friend’s house.

My daughter recently came home from spending time at a friend’s house and made the comment that they have a big house. And a trampoline. And, most importantly, speakers in their living room ceiling that are hooked to their television… and a sitting room that had fancy sofas.

My husband turned to her and said “ok… and, what’s the point?”

They have a nice house.

“And we don’t?”

Oh. I guess we do. But I like theirs.   They have two stories.

Then Dave said “Wendy. We have a nice house.  We used to have two stories.  It didn’t work. Our house is not huge. It’s the perfect size. Bigger means your mom has to clean more. She already cleans too much. We don’t have a trampoline, because we know you will hurt yourself. Your brothers are already bad without a trampoline. We used to have speakers in the ceiling. Who cares? When do you watch TV anyways? You act like we don’t have anything, you guys have it pretty nice.. what more do you want?”

Silence. “But her house is fun. Ours is just .. loud. Her brother isn’t loud.”

David said “her brother? Well, just remember. Our house is loud because you have 4 siblings. I guess if you had one sibling it would be dead quiet around here too. Your brothers keep great company. Later on when we aren’t here, you are all going to have each other to take care of so you better be thankful you have them.”

I remember being that age – everyone else’s house was always more fun than my own..  Everyone else always had cooler stuff than we did. Then you grow up and realize none of that really matters at all.  

We live in a nation that idolizes stuff – a joy through material goods, that success and happiness will come from the things that we own rather than the things we experience. Black Friday and the Holiday is always a reminder, at least for me personally, of this every year… as people wait for hours outside stores to get the next best deal on the television, video game console, the list could go on and on.

Every year I struggle to ask myself why the focus on stuff starts earlier. Why people will stand in line for hours and hours, and just why people go berserk in general for things when – in the end, won’t really make us more happy but will make us more tied down to jobs that preventing us from making time with our family all to pay for the things that we feel we must have.

We live in a period of time when things seem to be more valuable because they are things we can touch, feel and tote around places. These things are tied with money.. that places value above anything else. Unlike things, experiences  are an entirely different beast..

Our life experiences bring joy and happiness, mistakes and achievements, in the end, it helps us realize who we are as individuals. Life experiences define how we think and act, who we become friends and acquaintances with, and a better understanding of ourselves.

We can’t quite sell our experiences.. but if we could, we would struggle to put a price tag on them. Our experiences tell us what we should and shouldn’t do again (Hate your job? That experience might propel you to think outside the box, move forward and start your own company..)

Materials have a big bill – and require we hold a job to pay for them.

Experiences come with nothing but life lessons.

Thinking back to when I was a child, I don’t remember too many Christmas gifts I got – I do remember one of them though. I got a jewelry armoire when I was ten – and a Rainbow Brite when I was 5. Of all the Christmas holidays we celebrated as kids .. those are the only two material things I remember.

I do, however, remember stuffing my face with too many thin mints every Christmas (ha – oh the memories.. that was such a bad bad bad day!)  I remember going on a million rides in the car with my brothers and sister to see Christmas lights,  both planned and unplanned trips. I remember watching Sunday night football with my Dad and drinking hot chocolate with marshmallows.  I remember making snow forts in the ditch of our house so we could crawl in there and hide from my mom.. 

The things I remember weren’t exactly things.. but the experiences and time spent.

Material things lose excitement over time.

Experiences with others don’t decrease in value – they give us memories for years to come.

Experiences make us happy not just when we are experiencing them, but for years to come – especially when we think about them.

So how do you forego a life of stuff in order to amass more experiences? 

1. Change your priorities

Make the decision to do things instead of buy things – and start from there. Forego the gifts associated with the holidays, or, the stuff in the house you think you need and invest in saving for experiences from this point forward.

Figure out what you really need in your life, and work from that point forward. In all truthfulness, most of us need much less than we think we do.

2. Be versatile to do more things

If you have kids, instead of sitting home and playing video game console games, use a weekend to jump in the truck and experience the area. Go on a road trip with the kids  – see some ideas HERE and HERE.

Don’t plan, just go. Take advantage of having time and go create an experience.

3. Experiences don’t have to cost much

As a family of 7, experiences can get expensive for us – especially when we go somewhere and have to pay for 2 hotel rooms. Thankfully, there are so many experiences we can create that are LOW in cost .. and by being willing to forego more costly trips, your kids will learn to appreciate anything you take them to – provided you are excited to be there.

Sometimes the best experiences are right next door and don’t require extravagant plans – use Groupon and LivingSocial to find cheap fun. Or pull out your POGO pass and head out as a family for the night.

Or jump in the car on a Friday after school and take the kids up to any of these weekend getaways in Arizona – not only will they get an educational experience, it’ll be a weekend they won’t ever forget.  

My kids love road trips – we make road trips fairly frequently.  Unfortunately, Wendy’s friend hasn’t ever been on a road trip – in fact, last time we went out on a road trip this particular parent commented that she thought it was a waste of our time to do all that driving just to see a few places.  

So while we might not have the latest and greatest house, trampoline or speakers, we have given our kids the gift of travel and time well spent –  something that they will always remember.