How to Make the Holidays Less Materialistic

 

It’s mid-October.

Black Friday ads are already popping up online, and holiday displays are in full force at stores all over town including Walmart, Walgreens, Target…..and if you are up north where I’m from (Minnesota) Menards and Fleet Farm.

Fleet Farm and Menards bring back SO many memories from when I was a kid .

Once the displays start popping up, the “gimmes” will kick in – as hard as we might try, kids will be inundated with Christmas marketing and messages that will have them talking about what they want.. what they need and what they might get from Santa.

If you have kids, chances are you find it really hard to look beyond all the product hoopla, and remember what the holidays are actually about. I know it’s hard for us – although the older kids are really more understanding, the smaller ones aren’t quite there yet – and they won’t be for a few more ears.

It’s not the gifts that make the holidays important – but the meaning behind the gifts. It’s the spirit of giving … the time spent together, and the opportunity to create experiences versus a focus on material things.

It’s definitely not easy to help your kids learn about the fun of giving and the rewarding feeling that it can bring. But it is possible to help them learn by doing special things for others, people they care about or others who might be in need.

So how do you make the holidays less materialistic? Is it possible? 

We mentioned several weeks ago that we ditched the gifts quite a few years ago – in favor of experiences, and every winter we take them somewhere different/special.  If it’s one thing we have learned from having kids it’s that they learn from us… and they remember everything. Trips that we have taken 2-3 years ago they remember like they were yesterday.

But if you ask them what they “got” for Christmas from their grandparents last year, they will be hard pressed to remember.

That leads us to the conclusion that experiences are far richer and of greater importance than material things – if that experience means a trip with the family OR… time spent helping others.

It’s a challenge – especially considering the marketing messages are so heavy between now and then, but it is possible.   It takes willingness from you as a parent to start that train and keep the focus steady through the holiday season.

#1 Talk to your Kids about Marketing Messages

Marketing is all over – the television (commercials), to placement ads (billboards, magazines, and even cereal boxes) – kids may not realize the intent of the message unless you take the time to talk to them about it.

Our older kids (ages 11 and 8) understand quite a bit easier than the smaller ones (5, 4 and obviously the baby) – but with your help, you can help them see why everything sounds so appealing than what it really is.

All these marketing ads can paint a picture that is unrealistic – and lead them to think that the item that is being marketed will make their life better and more complete.  Help them understand these ads and  marketing ploys by telling them that it’s all designed to make people want things they may not need.  And that these products are advertised to showcase a happier life with them – whereas happiness won’t come from buying things but is a feeling that comes from inside.

While it might be hard to limit their exposure to TV commercials, magazines and radio announcements, when these marketing messages come up, talk to them about the item to help them really think about the message the item is trying to send.

Kids need to understand that the holidays are not so much about things but about the actions {giving} and feelings that are expressed from one person to another as we celebrate a special time. It’s OK to “want” things – but in moderation, and in full understanding that we also need to be grateful for the things we already have.

#2 – Establish or, Rely on Family Traditions

Each family has their own holiday traditions, and it’s those traditions you will want to focus on to take the attention off of the commercialism they see so much.

Set a tradition of experience at the holidays rather than gifts – and take the kids to a new trip (place) each year to spend time with them.   Talk about what the holidays mean to others, and take the time to start implementing NEW traditions.

Our kids love ice skating, and they also love to drive around and look at lights – so every year we take the time to do those two things – not just once but many times through the winter.

#3 – Give Handmade Gifts

Instead of opting to purchase gifts, help your kids think of something that they can make by hand.

Kids can create their own artwork and put into inexpensive frames; or, they can create their own videos for their family members (my older 2 kids LOVE doing this!)  OR, you can opt to give pictures of your kids from digital prints you have taken through the year, put together in a brag book for Grandparents. 

Encouraging them to think about personalized (handmade) gifts might teach them to really consider what might make the other person happy. And watching people open something that you personally made is rewarding – your kids will be so proud of their accomplishment and it might show them just how much people appreciate even the smallest things. 

It doesn’t even need to be a physical gift – it can be the gift of time too. Perhaps grandma and grandpa are looking for some help in the backyard, washing their car or even learning how to use the computer/internet – sometimes the gift of TIME can be just as much, if not more meaningful than anything else.

#4 – Teach Kids about the Spirit of Giving

This time of the year is a great opportunity to reinforce community serve – showing your kids that giving your time, and kindness can be just as rewarding if not more, than receiving.  

Choose to help an organization that your family can help together – whether that be sponsoring a family in need, helping at a soup kitchen, helping a local nursing home, volunteering at an animal shelter, or even at a children’s hospital. 

Doing community service will show your kids that giving comes in many forms – not just as presents/gifts, but your actions. In turn, it might help them to be more appreciative of what they have, and the experience will help provoke conversation that’s meaningful.

#5 – Be a Role Model

This is probably one of the most important parts ~ the other ideas are great, but it falls on you as a parent to show your kids that the holidays are not just about gifts.  It can be easy, as a parent, to do what everyone else is doing or to do what is popular.

Sometimes doing what is UNpopular can be hard too – especially when your kids have friends that will likely be receiving gifts.  You ultimately are the train driver in efforts to keep materialism down, and you are also a role model too.

Kids look to the parents for their insight, and while you might be stressing over gifts to give this holiday, the next best “sale”, the Black Friday hype, and having things under the tree … that is what they will also see too. If you shift your focus off the stuff, and into a different frame of mind, they will pick up on that change too.

Kids are resilient and they can adapt quite fast – they might not be too thrilled to see that the focus will be on less material things, but with time they will likely find it to be more rewarding as long as those around them are just as encouraging about the transition.